Bagpiping Redefined
We bring you a sad tale this month….originating in the once jolly land of Lichtenstein. Yes, Lichtenstein. Get your Kleenex, this one’s a tear-jerker. The Waas name had been synonymous with booty-shaking and jolly-making for centuries in the land of Lichtenstein. For they were the definitive booty-shakers and jolly-makers. Almedia Waas (supreme matriarch of the Waas line; 1685-1795) wanted a family that would procreate and carry on her ideals of joyful music making. Unfortunately, the great happiness cleansing that took place in Lichtenstein in 1985 all but destroyed this wonderful tradition. Fortunately, Mary Lou Waas was determined to keep great-great-great-great-grandma Almedia’s dream alive…. In America, the new home-base for the Waas family, Mary Lou gave birth to her son, Jack. Jack showed great potential for the family trade of booty-shaking and jolly-making from a young age. Young Jack would entertain passerby with a soprano rendition of “Danny Boy” while simultaneously breakdancing at the tender age of 2. Mary Lou was pleased with the promise of young Jack. Soon after Jack’s debut in the breakdancing world, Mary Lou gave birth to another son, Matt. Matt was different from his older brother. Matt was quiet and introspective in early life and the family feared that the outgoing boisterousness of the family may have ended with Jack. Until one day when the family was at the beach watching an Ultimate Frisbee game. Matt began sitting quietly but grew more interested with each toss of the Frisbee. Finally, in a burst of energy, Matt grabbed the Frisbee from the air, spun it on his finger and winged it into the end-zone. To celebrate his victory, Matt, age 3, played the entire drum solo from Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” using only sea shells, sand shovels and tin cans. The family tradition of booty-shaking and jolly-making would certainly not end with this one. The two brothers applied their talents to several activities: slam poetry, cliff diving, jewelry making, and independent film, just to name a few. However, the Waas boys often felt their talents were squandered on these pursuits. Fortunately, these two Paduan learners found the answer to their hopes and dreams in the form of Matt McKee and Dave McKee, Jr. They were another set of brothers that the Wassi could look up to and emulate. Matt and Dave taught them the ancient art of chanter and drumstick. Jack with his bagpipes and Matt with his drum play with the fervor that only true descendants of the great Waas line of Lichtenstein can muster. In their honor, Lichenstein has elected that June 21st shall be “Jack and Matt Wass Day: A day for booty-shaking and jolly-making!”